Ok, anyone who knows me at all, knows I have a warped, sarcastic sense of humor. And yes, despite my fits of anger and crying, I even have to laugh at this mess at times.
Every man out there knows the rule to the dreaded "do I look fat?" question from their wife or girlfriend. You answer fast "Noooo". You must sound convincing, if not she accuses you of lying and looking at some bimbo you passed in the grocery store two weeks ago. You must answer immediately, or you had to think about it and therefore still must be lying and now you're condescending too. It's a tricky one for guys. Well... did you know there's apparently an MS twist to this slippery slope?
Picture this: Your wife is walking through the house. You watch her stagger back and forth as she goes, hear her curse up a blue streak as she rams her hip into the kitchen counter for the 5th time that day alone. She then wobbles into the living room, and she looks like she's about to fall over backward so you tentatively reach out and gently steady her. At that point, she glares at you. "Do I look drunk to you?" GAAAHH!! I mean, c'mon, she looks like a frat boy three sheets to the wind who is about to go hurl in a corner. But, the good husband knows. He immediately sees the danger in this question and answers fast "Noooo". He sounds convincing, because he knows if he's not she going to accuse him of lying and looking at some bimbo he passed in the grocery store two weeks ago. He answers immediately, or he would've been accused of thinking to hard and lying and now he's condescending too.
Scenario #2: Your wife is trying to see the TV. She has tape over one of the lenses of her glasses so she doesn't see double. Now, she is determined to make her eyes focus. So she's looking under the glasses, looking over them, taking them off and opening her eyes wide like a freak'n owl one moment then squinting the next. After a few minutes of this she gives up, puts her taped up glasses back on and looks at you through the untaped lens with a heavy sigh and says "I look l like a retard, don't I?" You answer fast as lightening with a gentle smile "No baby, you look beautiful".
These little situations are my marriage lately. God bless my amazing husband, Wayne. He handles all my moodiness, crankiness, fear, and defensiveness all in perfect stride. I mean, the man must be some kind of super hero, because he doesn't even flinch. I honestly don't how he does it, but whatever his secret is, he has the uncanny ability to always make me feel better. He makes me feel secure even when I am feeling more scared and vulnerable than I ever have in my entire life.
So yeah, I am seeing humor in this fiasco MS has caused in my life. But more importantly, I am seeing more than I ever that I truly have the most amazing, wonderful, loving husband on the planet. To Wayne- thank you, Baby. Thank you for loving me just as I am.